Monthly Archives: July 2007

Fear and Wisdom – a Tuesday Night Rambling

“A life lived in fear is a life half-lived”.

I heard this quote in some movie I once saw (OK, so I know what movie it was: “Strictly Ballroom”. For some reason I’m kind of embarrassed by that), and it has always stuck with me – probably because I feel like I’ve often let fear get in the way of – or even rule – my life. Fear of what other people will think…fear of rejection…fear of the unknown…fear of *fill in the blank*. I’ve found myself not asking questions or initiating potentially important conversations because I’m afraid of the answer “no”, or of just looking foolish. I’ve found myself tempted to not attend something because I’m afraid that traffic *might* be bad (that one’s just from today :))

Not that “fear” is always wrong. Proverbs is our ever-present reminder that wisdom is something to be cherished. What have been pondering is discerning where the fine line is between “being wise” and “letting fear rule”. At what point does one move to the other? What is the difference between acting in wisdom (obedience) and not trusting God (disobedience)? When is it OK to take risks?

I don’t know if this makes any sense. It’s sort of late. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just something that’s on my mind tonight – probably because I’m the kind of person that tends to err on the side of “fear” rather than risk. Forgive me for letting it spill out, in all it’s messy glory, on my blog!

I pray that God gives me eyes to see what is wise, yet keeps me from making safety an idol.

And remember…”the comfort zone is the danger zone”! Ha ha! ๐Ÿ™‚ (I actually like that quote a lot – it’s just kind of cheesy :)).

Lemon Meringue Pie

So for lunch today I stopped over at Festival Foods, where I was immediately greeted by a large display stocked full of delectable lemon meringue pies, on sale for 3.99 (instead of 8.50). I resisted the urge to pick one up, and continue with my shopping, but I could not get “lemon meringue” out of my head. I thought about buying an individual slice, but that would have cost 2.69, which would have seemed ludicrous, with a whole pie being only just over a dollar more. So I did it. I purchased a whole lemon meringue pie. And I’ve already eaten 2 pieces. And they were good. What’s extra weird is that I don’t even normally like lemon meringue pie that much. I guess pregnancy does things like this to a person!

user1266_1157193412.jpg

Random Pictures from Our Trip to Cross Lake (whether you like it or not :))

2436.jpg24221.jpg2448.jpg2458.jpg2472.jpg2462.jpg2486.jpg2476.jpg2492.jpg2474.jpg2500.jpg2494.jpg2502.jpg2514.jpg2506.jpg2520.jpg2526.jpg2540.jpg2542.jpg2548.jpg2560.jpg

A Midsummer Night’s Blog

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and I can no longer bear to have that ridiculous video be what people first see when they visit my blog, so I thought I would type a quick something to update, even though I don’t have much to say. I haven’t blogged much this summer, so maybe I’ll share an update on life (which you may or may not be interested in! :)).

Life is good! It has been such a fun summer. As much as I miss many of my friends at the store, I have no regrets over quitting. I am thoroughly enjoying having a couple of extra days a week to rest, spend time with Mark, visit with friends, hang out at the pool (I love the pool :)) and stay (somewhat) caught up on life before the chaos ensues this fall in a whole new (& wonderful) way. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  I have joined a small, Wednesday morning neighborhood Bible study which has been a real treat – it consists of 5 ladies representing 4 different stages of life, which is a unique combination these days, but most certainly a blessing!

Other events of the summer: we had a lovely little vacation up to Cross Lake a few weeks back (I will try to post a few pictures soon), we celebrated a fun 4th of July with our families, and last weekend my siblings and I hosted a party in celebration of my parents 30th anniversary. Not a whole lot of travel left in the summer – just a quick trip to Ames next weekend to visit Mark’s brother & family, and then another weekend trip back down there in a couple of week’s for Mark’s cousin’s wedding.

We continue to ANXIOUSLY await the arrival of our little boy. Some days it feels like the pregnancy is clipping right along, but mostly it seems to feel like it will be FOREVER before we’ll get to welcome him home! We can’t wait. We’ve been prepping the nursery (last night we got our little closet drawer system assembled and I filled it with his clothes :), and we have begun our childbirth class (part 1 was last Saturday, part 2 will be this coming Sat.). So far the class seems to be very informative – in spite of being, yes, a bit gross and more than a little scary. But I guess that’s part of childbirth. ๐Ÿ™‚ It does help to have simple questions answered (like “how do we know when to call the midwife?!”) as well as just having the process explained more clearly to us from someone at the actual hospital where we will be delivering. We also did some breathing exercises (you know, “hee-hee-hoooooo”…just like on TV) …which I’ve heard you tend to throw out the window once you’re actually giving birth :), but who knows…maybe some pieces of it will come in handy!! At any rate, it’s fun to know that we’re approaching the end, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. We are so thankful that the pregnancy has been going well, so far. I’ve been doing OK – my belly’s just getting larger and I’m feeling a bit more cumbersome, tired, achy…etc. But it’s ALL normal and ALL good, I know, so I’m happy! ๐Ÿ™‚

…crazy to think that a year from now we’ll have a 10 month old!!

Anyway, this post has become rather long and rambly, but maybe it’s better than that creepy alien video. ๐Ÿ™‚ Here’s hoping that you are enjoying a fun & beautiful summer, wherever you are!

I hope this doesn’t happen to me

Yikes.

(This scene is from one of Mark’s favorite mini-series of the early ’80s: “V the Final Battle”.)

Now We See in a Mirror

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13: 12

I am reminded of this verse as I enter the final stretch of pregnancy. I have been blessed with a relatively smooth 7 months so far. While the first few months were somewhat unpleasant, they weren’t nearly as difficult as they could have been, and my second trimester most definitely fit the (again, relatively) “feel good” description that all the books and magazines applied to it. Now, however, I am in the third trimester, and things are starting to really become rather uncomfortable. My belly is growing by the week, making it increasingly difficult to perform even such mundane tasks as putting on sandals. I have to sleep in what feels like a nest of pillows because of all of the aches and cramps that bombard me one by one in the middle of the night, making the last time I slept a full night a distant memory. My stomach is now feeling the effects of having a growing baby squishing it, causing mealtimes to be rather brief, as not much food fits inside of it at one time. I feel like a walking furnace. My brain is not working properly (ever heard of “pregnancy brain”?) and my emotions are undoubtedly out of whack. (With all this in mind, you can imagine the state I was in tonight I as I tried to feed my stomach dinner in the humidity as a wave of inexplicable pregnancy-brain-induced panic set in — oh yes, and I had a leg ache, too!).

And I still have the labor ahead of me… oh boy.

If anyone tells you that, physically, pregnancy is a perfectly comfortable thing, they need to get down on their knees and confess that they are a liar. ๐Ÿ™‚

HOWEVER…the physical discomfort is not the end of the story, and certainly not the best part of the story! There is a baby boy growing inside of me! A beautiful little baby boy that is part me, part Mark, and all from God. When we first discovered he was there, he was barely the size of a sesame seed. Now, just a few short months later, he has bones and muscles and kicks me so hard that I wake up in the middle of the night. He swims,ย  he moves, he does backflips, and his every future movement is already plotted out in God’s book (Psalm 139). He is a miracle!

I can often place my hand on my stomach and feel various baby body parts slide across my belly. Was that an elbow? An arm? A knee? A nose? I find myself curious to see what he looks like…curious to see exactly what it is that I am feeling. Yet – curiously – I already have a strong and growing love for this boy in my heart! I was pondering this the other day as that verse came to mind…

“…now we see as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.”ย 

The image I have of my little boy is still very limited – yet I know he is there, and I have the promise that in just a few short months I will be able to do much more than get faint brushes against his little arms and legs. I will be able to see him and fully understand his identity.

Then it hit me that this is what life is like, isn’t it. So often full of pain and discomfort, yet we are moved along by faith inย  the promise of what is to come, though at this point we only can feel (comparatively) faint “brushes” against God.

Maybe this is one of the reasons God made the third trimester so uncomfortable! ๐Ÿ™‚

(Childbirth, on the other hand, was Eve’s fault…see Gen. 3:16)