That Kind of Tired.

It has been a rather chaotic week, to say the least. Mentally, I felt like I had about 25 plates to spin all week. Aside from the aforementioned electrical fire fun of Monday, it seems that everything else I’d agreed to do lately converged this week in order to create “the perfect storm” of busy-ness and mental exhaustion…with no end in sight (as far as I could see). 

By yesterday morning I was tired. Not just “tired” but TIRED.

The kind of tired where you could just fall down on any surface (bed, chair, floor, grass, sidewalk, anywhere, really…) and you really believe you could have a satisfying nap.

That kind of tired.

And when I’m tired, aside from simply wanting to collapse, a couple of things happen.

First of all, my ability to function socially all but disappears. I am not naturally a “social bug”. I enjoy being with people, and WISH desperately that I was more adept at socializing, but it is not a gift that comes naturally to me. It takes work, which requires energy. When I am tired, that energy is not there. Therefore, when I am that kind of tired…I really don’t know how to hold a conversation or what to do around other people. In other words, I stand around looking like a zombie while I furiously rack my brain for something meaningful to say or ask, typically to no avail. This explains where I was at when I got together with Cari & Michelle yesterday. Sorry for my zombieness, ladies!

Secondly, if my patience came in a tank, I’m typically left running on fumes. There just isn’t much there. This is obviously a sin issue that can’t be blamed simply on tiredness – but when I am tired, I am much more susceptable to snapping or just plain bursting into tears. Much fun for the boys in my house, as you can imagine. This explains…well, pretty much my behavior around everyone & anyone this week. Again – sorry!

Last night I set aside all of my duties (other than being wife & mommy), and Mark took our little family over to Centennial lakes for a Quizno’s & a walk around the lake (an old tradition of ours). A simple pleasure that helped melt away much of the stress of the week. So, for now, I am feeling pretty relaxed.

However, I come away from this week with a couple of lessons. First of all: I’ve got to get my act together!  I’m no longer single – I’ve got a baby & husband to care for. The procrastination and lack of discipline that served me so well before (er, that I could get by with before, at least :)) will no longer work, and will simply result in weeks like this, which are really no good for anyone. If I would have just been a bit more prepared for the week – even by simply preparing a rough schedule for how I would accomplish my tasks for the week -and if I would have said “no” to a couple of small things (which I said “yes” to simply because I didn’t want to say “no”), so much of the stress would have been eliminated. 

Secondly: in chaotic weeks like this, one thing that should NOT go is my time in the Word and in prayer. Why it’s so easy to let these slide when life gets crazy, I don’t know. But without them, life seems even more unmanageable.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go enjoy some peace & quiet. Sigh. 🙂




3 responses to “That Kind of Tired.

  1. I didn’t notice that you were a zombie. I had fun with you -lets do it again soon.
    we over plated mommies need to stick together!
    love- your fellow zombie/procrastinator/over piling friend

  2. Awww, Nikki… sorry you had a rough week last week. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. You might be [pleasantly?] surprised to know that MY impression of you is that you have it all together, with tons of patience and very nice social skills too! 🙂

    I could especially relate to your comment: “The procrastination and lack of discipline that served me so well before (er, that I could get by with before, at least :)) will no longer work…” I was JUST thinking a few days ago how “easy” it was when I was single, because I could do anything I wanted WHENEVER I wanted… er… wait a minute… shouldn’t I have been seeking God’s direction for my moments and my days THEN too?? What I could “get by with” (as you put it) is more like it! There’s not nearly the accountability (or obvious consequences for one’s actions) as a single person as there is when you’re married with children!

    Anyway, I have struggles with lack of motivation, impatience, etc. I totally agree with you about staying in the Word and praying — that helps a ton! Gives the Holy Spirit an open door to do His work, I figure! And I’ve been memorizing some verses, too, which keeps the Word in my mind throughout the day.

    I am so thankful for Paul’s writing in Romans — especially chapter 7, when he says, “What a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

    Thanks for being so REAL!! 🙂


  3. I didn’t think you were a zombie that day, but maybe it’s because zombies don’t recognize each other, they’re too “zombied” to notice… let’s be zombies together again soom…

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