Tonight I went to LeeAnn Chin’s to pick up a little take-out goodness for the fam. As I was checking out, the cashier kindly handed me the plastic bag of food along with a small, covered clear plastic cup containing my son’s chocolate-covered fortune cookie. As I started to place the cookie-cup into the bag with the rest of the food, the cashier stopped me, saying “Ma’am, you might want to put that into your purse — the chocolate melts“.
Well, that makes no sense, I thought, then smiled and explained gently “Well, if the chocolate is going to melt, I think I’d rather have it in the bag with my food than have it melt in my purse! Hahahaha….”. I laughed kindly. Poor girl must be nervous and just not thinking clearly, I thought. The girl muttered some kind of affirmative comment and gave me a faint smile. I smiled back, wished her a good day, took my food and left.
As my husband and I later split our son’s chocolate covered cookie* (* don’t judge; he didn’t know it came with his meal! And he’s not into chocolate covered fortune cookies, anyway. Plus he got some Oreos.), I relayed the story to him.
“Isn’t it weird that the girl told me I should put the cookie in my purse because the chocolate melts?”, I wondered aloud, “I mean, if the chocolate was going to melt, wouldn’t it be better for it to be in the bag with the food than in my purse?!”
My husband looked at me oddly. Lovingly, but oddly. “Well I’m sure she was thinking that the heat of the food would melt the chocolate…”.
I stopped and thought. Oh. Right.
“Hmm. That probably explains the odd smile she gave me when I said that to her.” I said quietly.
“You said that to her?!”
“Yep…here I was thinking that she said something stupid, when all along she surely knew that *I* was the one….ahhhh!”. I could barely bring myself to finish the sentence.
Normally, this wouldn’t bother me. Not that this bothers me that much, but…well, it’s just kind of irking me, because…you see, I tend to say silly little things like this a lot. A. LOT. I’m not always what you would call the sharpest tool in the shed. I don’t talk a whole lot, but when I do talk I find that silly/awkward/ignorant things tend to come out of my mouth, and I get alot of those “faint smile” kinds of looks like the girl at LeeAnn Chin’s gave me……….
Hi, my name is N, and I’ve got some insecurity issues. 🙂
Just a few. OK, a lot. If insecurities were plants, I could open up a greenhouse full of them. Lots of different kinds, in all kinds of varieties, with all kinds of roots (the largest of which is pride). I’ve had them as long as I can remember…but guess what. I’m discovering I’m not the only one! Case in point:
A few days ago I discovered that I had been (gasp) defriended by a couple of people on Facebook. They didn’t delete their accounts — they defriended me. People I KNOW. In REAL LIFE! Truly, it didn’t bother me that much. OK, a little. OK, probably a tiny bit more than it should…but not THAT much. Really. People have reasons they defriend people…totally their right to…whatever. Still — it piqued my curiosity, and in one of those “posting status updates without thinking” moments, I posted a little status, wondering if this kind of thing makes anyone else self-conscious. Oh my goodness — I got quite a little response! Replies to the status and a message or two. Turns out other women have noticed this kind of thing — felt a little burned by it — some have been more than a little hurt by it.
Insecurity runs rampant, doesn’t it? It comes in many forms and can be debilitating in so many ways.
How timely that this book just came out. I first saw the title alone a few weeks ago, and immediately decided I would read it! 🙂 I’m in the middle of it now, and so far, it is wonderful. It is hitting the nail right on the head for me right now — even in some unexpected ways. It’s not about falling victim to insecurity — it’s about turning to the Lord for help in kicking it squarely in the tail. Adios. Anyway, if you are a woman feeling ruled by your insecurities, I’d check it out. You can read more about it here.
Anyone else battling this stuff? What has helped you wave bye-bye to your insecurities?