Category Archives: Mommyhood


It has been a long week. This baby within me is growing, as is my physical discomfort. Contractions — the painful kind — started making their appearance on Wednesday, and and have returned sporadically since then. I’m achy. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. Insomnia + achiness does not a good night’s sleep make. Going to bed has become the most un-restful part of my day. I’m tired of not being able to carry my babies or snuggle close with them on my lap, as they have been asking me to. I can’t keep my house very clean, and caring for the physical and spiritual needs of my kids has become a challenge. I have been blessed with a lot of help and understanding from my wonderful family and husband, but still — I have been ready to move on to the next stage of all of this…focused on hoping that baby N will be here soon (that hope increased by the fact that my other two babies arrived a couple weeks early) so that I can once again be comfortable and feel like the mom I want to be….

…but then I’ve been reflecting on a conversation I had on Thursday morning with a new friend from my Bible Study Fellowship group. We were talking about how I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, and though I can’t remember her exact words, she made a comment to the effect of “Just think of how bittersweet it will be to finish this stage of things”. At first I thought she was talking about pregnancy itself, so I said “Yeah…I’m sure I’ll miss feeling the baby move, and all of that…”, but then she explained that she was talking not only about pregnancy itself, but about this stage of family. These are the last few weeks (days) when we will be a family of 4 — when my two kids will be the only two kids. Once the baby is born, things will forever be different — GOOD different, but different.

So…with that thought in my mind, I want to focus on savoring this time as best I can before things change. I am uncomfortable and I don’t know how I can possibly make it for 4 more weeks until my due date…but I pray that I don’t lose sight of the fact that there is so much to treasure and enjoy, even in this moment when it’s so easy to focus on what’s next.

And I’m pretty sure this is a life lesson I’ll need to remember even after this baby has arrived!


The Mom Song

Confession: The first time I heard this song I cried like a baby.

Um, I was also a relatively new mom & very hormonal.

Still — it’s got a good beat & I can relate to it. Maybe you can, too. 🙂

Happy mother’s day!

Mall Observations

Observation #1: 2 women waiting in line for elevator: one middle-aged woman talking on her cell-phone, not visibly incapacitated in any sort of way, and one young mom with a stroller and a baby. Elevator opens. Occupants exit. Cell-phone lady hurries in. The doors begin to close. Stroller woman hurriedly struggles to get into the elevator. Cell-phone lady too busy on her phone to stop and hold the doors. Doors close. Stroller mom is stuck outside the elevator.

Observation #2: Busy parking lot. Rainy day. I have a coveted spot under the roof. I am in the process of packing the kids in the car to go home. A driver decides she wants my spot. She stops and puts her signal on.  At this point I am engaged in a small battle to get Child A to sit in her car-seat without screaming and arching her back so I can buckle her in. Child B is still sitting in the double stroller, needing to be packed in the car. Then I need to put my shopping bag/purse in the car. Then I need to fold up the double stroller and put it in the trunk. It will be a few minutes. Still, the car waits for my spot. Cars begin lining up behind her. 3…4…5. Horns are about to blare, I can feel it. 3 times I signal for her to move along. Finally she does. Phew.  I can’t take that kind of pressure.

Conclusion: The general public needs to undergo some sort of “stroller training”. Or an advertising campaign should be commissioned. “Start seeing strollers”, perhaps?

Trying to Bond

Trying to Bond

That Kind of Tired.

It has been a rather chaotic week, to say the least. Mentally, I felt like I had about 25 plates to spin all week. Aside from the aforementioned electrical fire fun of Monday, it seems that everything else I’d agreed to do lately converged this week in order to create “the perfect storm” of busy-ness and mental exhaustion…with no end in sight (as far as I could see). 

By yesterday morning I was tired. Not just “tired” but TIRED.

The kind of tired where you could just fall down on any surface (bed, chair, floor, grass, sidewalk, anywhere, really…) and you really believe you could have a satisfying nap.

That kind of tired.

And when I’m tired, aside from simply wanting to collapse, a couple of things happen.

First of all, my ability to function socially all but disappears. I am not naturally a “social bug”. I enjoy being with people, and WISH desperately that I was more adept at socializing, but it is not a gift that comes naturally to me. It takes work, which requires energy. When I am tired, that energy is not there. Therefore, when I am that kind of tired…I really don’t know how to hold a conversation or what to do around other people. In other words, I stand around looking like a zombie while I furiously rack my brain for something meaningful to say or ask, typically to no avail. This explains where I was at when I got together with Cari & Michelle yesterday. Sorry for my zombieness, ladies!

Secondly, if my patience came in a tank, I’m typically left running on fumes. There just isn’t much there. This is obviously a sin issue that can’t be blamed simply on tiredness – but when I am tired, I am much more susceptable to snapping or just plain bursting into tears. Much fun for the boys in my house, as you can imagine. This explains…well, pretty much my behavior around everyone & anyone this week. Again – sorry!

Last night I set aside all of my duties (other than being wife & mommy), and Mark took our little family over to Centennial lakes for a Quizno’s & a walk around the lake (an old tradition of ours). A simple pleasure that helped melt away much of the stress of the week. So, for now, I am feeling pretty relaxed.

However, I come away from this week with a couple of lessons. First of all: I’ve got to get my act together!  I’m no longer single – I’ve got a baby & husband to care for. The procrastination and lack of discipline that served me so well before (er, that I could get by with before, at least :)) will no longer work, and will simply result in weeks like this, which are really no good for anyone. If I would have just been a bit more prepared for the week – even by simply preparing a rough schedule for how I would accomplish my tasks for the week -and if I would have said “no” to a couple of small things (which I said “yes” to simply because I didn’t want to say “no”), so much of the stress would have been eliminated. 

Secondly: in chaotic weeks like this, one thing that should NOT go is my time in the Word and in prayer. Why it’s so easy to let these slide when life gets crazy, I don’t know. But without them, life seems even more unmanageable.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go enjoy some peace & quiet. Sigh. 🙂




So a few weeks ago my lovely sister Katie came over and did a 6-month photo shoot with Will, and a photo shoot with me, too, so I could have some good pictures to use to promote music stuff, etc. Didn’t she do a great job?!

Mystery Stains

This morning as I was sitting in church, I happened to glance down and noticed, much to my horror, that there was a large, white deodorant mark on my (of course) solid black shirt. Not sure how I missed it before. I quickly grabbed my denim jacket as a cover up.

Then tonight as I was sitting in small group, I happened to glance at my arm and noticed that there were orange crusties (formerly squash, I’m guessing) stuck to it. Gross, I thought.

Earlier this week, as mentioned in a previous blog, I took Will to the grocery store, and was introducing him to a couple of people I ran into, when I noticed a large, blobby green stain on his jeans. Seems he’d spit up a little bit of peas while I wasn’t looking.

I’ve also had multiple moments where I’ve fingered the tip of my hair, only to realize it’s crustiness (not knowing how long it had been like this).

I’m getting the picture. Mommyhood = more stains. Perhaps I should invest in more of those Tide sticks.

(And who knows what other stains I’ve had but not noticed!)