Mall Observations

Observation #1: 2 women waiting in line for elevator: one middle-aged woman talking on her cell-phone, not visibly incapacitated in any sort of way, and one young mom with a stroller and a baby. Elevator opens. Occupants exit. Cell-phone lady hurries in. The doors begin to close. Stroller woman hurriedly struggles to get into the elevator. Cell-phone lady too busy on her phone to stop and hold the doors. Doors close. Stroller mom is stuck outside the elevator.

Observation #2: Busy parking lot. Rainy day. I have a coveted spot under the roof. I am in the process of packing the kids in the car to go home. A driver decides she wants my spot. She stops and puts her signal on.  At this point I am engaged in a small battle to get Child A to sit in her car-seat without screaming and arching her back so I can buckle her in. Child B is still sitting in the double stroller, needing to be packed in the car. Then I need to put my shopping bag/purse in the car. Then I need to fold up the double stroller and put it in the trunk. It will be a few minutes. Still, the car waits for my spot. Cars begin lining up behind her. 3…4…5. Horns are about to blare, I can feel it. 3 times I signal for her to move along. Finally she does. Phew.  I can’t take that kind of pressure.

Conclusion: The general public needs to undergo some sort of “stroller training”. Or an advertising campaign should be commissioned. “Start seeing strollers”, perhaps?

Huh? … part II

You all saw my creepy baby ornament from Marshall’s.

Now I have something else to share with you.

Brace yourselves…this is easily the weirdest thing I have posted on my blog. I can’t even believe I’m posting it — but how could I resist?

You, see, ladies & gentleman, it is my deepest pleasure to introduce you to…

TOILET BOY!

Here’s a close-up of his expression. He doesn’t look too…um…comfortable:

The Dollar Store sure comes in handy when one is looking for white elephant gifts!

The kicker is that this lovely little piece of decor was not on the regular shelves in the store. No, no, no. It was hanging behind the check-out counter, along with a plethora of similar plaques. I actually had to ask the cashier to get it down off the wall for me so I could purchase it!

Wow, wow, wow. Wow.

Huh?

Here’s a little thing I picked up at Marshall’s today.

It was so weird. And ugly. And bizarre. And cheap. How could I not?

Because every tree needs something that says:

“Merry Christmas from a Creepy Baby Dressed as a Lamb
while Wearing Mickey Mouse Ears”.

(*please also note the inexplicable “A Star is Born” phrase at the bottom of the ornament — backwards cuz I used my computer camera).

Dancing

It’s been a long weekend…this made me smile. I saw someone comment that it reminded them of all the different tribes and nations dancing in heaven. Me too. Check it out:

And the Award for Ditziest Moment Ever Goes To…

Yesterday my friend Bethany was in town from Nashville, so we decided to celebrate by packing up the stroller & heading over to the zoo for the day. It was lots of fun. We…

…looked at fish (which Will loved)…

saw some camel(s) (how do you pluralize the word “camel”? Is there an s at the end or no? Hmmm…)…

…and we held some miniature buffalo. Aren’t they cute?

I also regret to report that I experienced my ditziest moment ever. While I was in the underwater paviolion, perusing the exhibits and aquariums, I noticed what appeared to be a tank containing a blowfish – and the blowfish was inflated!!! This is amazing, I thought (and said), I’ve never seen an inflated blowfish before! I marveled at it’s beauty and the intricacies of God’s creation. I wondered what the blowfish would do next, now that it was inflated. Would it “deflate”? Would it attack the little fishie next to it? I stared at the blowfish. Then I stared some more.

Then I noticed that the blowfish wasn’t moving.

Then I noticed that there wasn’t any water in the tank.

Then I noticed that the blowfish was made of plastic.

Oh my. 😦

The worst part was that, now that I think about it, I’ve been there before.

I’ve seen that very plastic-y blowfish before.

Anyway, here’s me and the synthetic blowfish after I discovered my blunder.

 

Oh well. It was still a fun day, and it had a great ending. We got home, and I wasn’t sure what to do for supper, when this came in the mail:

to give you a closer look:

Ah, yes. Dinner was taken care of.

’twas a good day indeed, even if I was the queen of the ditzes.

Bad Blogger

I’ve been a bad blogger. It seems I”ve blogged plenty of things in my head, but not many things that have made their way onto the keyboard and into the computer. I promise I will return soon with a blog…until then, enjoy this video of a Korean baby singing “Hey Jude” (this one’s for you, Sarah).

Meet John Daker

Most of the stay-at-home-moms whose blogs I regularly peruse are posting honest, uplifting, encouraging, productive things such as delicious recipes or household tips.

Meanwhile, I’m posting about local cable access television, practically broadcasting the fact that (at worst) I am kind of pathetic and (at best) I have a bit of a time-wasting problem that should probably be tended to.

Nevertheless, while we’re on the subject of local cable access television, here’s one of my favorite videos that I was recently reminded of. 🙂 See if it doesn’t make you laugh as hard as it did me.

True Confession #8564

I need to confess something — it’s nothing profound, and rather embarrassing. It’s probably not something I should admit to, but I’m going to anyway:

I’ve got a thing for local cable access TV.

Have you ever caught any of the shows on it? Basically, the beauty of cable access is that ANYONE can create and broadcast a TV program about ANYTHING they want (well, within reason, of course). The results are often (in my qwirky opinion) hilarious.

Now, let me clarify: I don’t plot my day around any of this programming, nor do I ever sit through an entire episode of anything on it. However, if I happen to be “channel surfing” as I’m feeding Will, every once in awhile I’ll linger for an extra moment or two on one of the local channels, just to see what today’s offering is (and to see if I can get a chuckle).

Anyway, here are some of my favorite recurring cable access shows:

• The one with the lounge singer who looks like a combination of John Piper and my uncle Pat. 🙂 His background set consists of a black curtain with a fake plant sitting in front of it, and his show consists of him singing one lounge standard after another, accompanied by performance tracks. His vocals are mediocre at best, but judging by the level of enthusiasm he displays in his performance, you’d think that ol’ blue eyes himself was there.
• The one with the old lady in the rocking chair who plays guitar and prays for the healing of every malady she can possibly think of (and, really, you can almost see her thinking of every malady that she can as she is praying…it usually takes several minutes) – from blindness to sickle-cell anemia to gingivitis,  she prays that for every reason that anyone anywhere will be healed of everything and anything that they could possibly be suffering from (and if you set your bottle of olive oil on the TV set while she is praying you will get a special blessing). (*I secretly do think she is probably very sweet and full of innocent faith…but the generic nature of her prayers is kind of funny, and it’s fun to guess what malady she will name next :)).
• Anyone featuring people square dancing or polka dancing. They just seem to be having so much fun. And it’s fun to see people bouncing around the room to polka-music in ridiculous outfits while wearing perfectly expressionless faces.
• The one with the older couple going about town and interviewing different people. The other day I saw them interviewing a couple that was part of a Chanhassen dinner theatre production. They were the two most arrogant actors I have ever seen…they were talking themselves up and acting as though they were being interviewed on “Inside the Actor’s Studio”  instead of on a chintzy cable access show. It was literally like watching a Christopher Guest movie. Anyway, then on today’s episode, the older couple visited a Zen garden & walked a labyrinth.

And really, I could go on and on…OK, not really, I don’t watch a lot of cable access. Truly. But some of these shows are so bizarre and unique that somehow I feel they are worth mentioning. So I did.

And now the question arises: do I hit “publish”?

Ah, why not. I’m already a misfit anyway!! 🙂

And Now for Something Completely Different…

This morning I was watching Nickelodeon with Will when, suddenly, this happened:

The Unblog

There’s really nothing I feel inspired to blog about today, yet my lack of posts over the last couple of weeks causes me to feel a bit of an urgency (obligation?) to get something posted. A time/space-filler, if you will. So tonight we’re gonna go with another “random thoughts” post, this time with a “stream-of-conscious” flair. I’m just going to string together an assortment of thoughts/feelings/news/questions/etc. — whatever runs through this crazy little head of mine. Here goes…

Christmas was nice. I’ve enjoyed working on watching my collection of Rodgers & Hammerstein musicals  (much to my husband’s chagrin). The presidential debates are interesting this year. It’s fun to find old friends, like my friend Sally, on Facebook. I found a great recipe for crock-pot taco soup, thanks to my friend Bethany. It’s delicious! Will is growing up so fast! He’s now begun using his Johnny-Jump-Up seat and his exersaucer! My friend Danielle is now married to her beloved Aaron. Their wedding was very nice and I am very happy for them! I dropped & broke my cell phone, but now I have a new one. I feel like ice skating. I am reading Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows and am FINALLY into it. I’m almost done! I didn’t really come up with any super-profound resolutions for 2008, but I think overall I just want to grow in being more disciplined (in personal habits and in study of God’s word) and more passionate for God. I’ve eaten WAY too much sugar this week, but I’ll admit it’s been delightful. 🙂 I have had so much fun having Mark home these past 2 weeks, and am so sad he has to go back to school on Monday! I like designing books. I love my family. God is good. I really like the new Carrie Underwood CD.

OK, that’s all I feel like typing for now. I am now tired and will be going to bed!

Thanks for reading my unblog. Please come again!